For many people, you see one person. You're with one person whom you like or love and only have emotional and physical relationships with them. A complicated relationship may not easily be defined. It may not fit into the standard mold of relationships. It may involve unusual feelings or behaviours.
1st Story -
My Complicated Relationship
Posted November 26th, 2009 at 2:08PM
I am in a Complicated Relationship. I know that this could be in a different category but, it is very complicated. I get frustrated and aggravated at how events unfold. Anyway, where do I begin. I have a Best Boyfriend Forever. We were friends for 2 years before we decided to take our relationship further. We wanted to make sure that we were going to still be friends. This is my second longest relationship of my life, we have known each other for 7 years and been together as lovers (off and on) for the last 5 years. Here is the kicker, I am married. Over 16 years now. My husband and I decided on an open relationship a long time ago. Cut to the chase, my husband and BF are best friends. In fact, we all treat each other like family. That is what we call ourselves. We just don't live together. We have in the past and probably will in the future. One man treats me better than the other. I am also treated as a wife to both of them. The one that doesn't treat me well is my husband. He is bi-polar manic depressive with aggressive tendancies. He kinda lives a double standard when it comes to me. He tells me it is okay for me to be alone with my bf but, he changes his mind constantly. We are supposed to be equal and open. He can do it but, I can't. That's the double standard. As you can quess, I am having problems. My bf treats me different when I am with my husband than when we are alone. I just need someone outside to talk to and discuss my feelings with. It is hard being the **** between two sets of balls.
2nd Story - Complicated Relationship
So I met my friend about 7 months ago, we get along so great. He is adventurous, daring, bold and yet responsible, compassionate and kind. We agreed almost from the moment we met to just be friends. Because we both felt this great connection we didn't want to take a chance on losing...STUPID!!!!!I spend most of my time with him and I always have so much fun around him. I trust him completely- which is huge for me. The problem is, he doesn't see me as a single girl he can get involved with. I am his best friend/biggest fan. i know there isn't anythig he wouldn't do for me and vice versa. He has encouragd me to make some major changes in my life-all good stuff right? The thing is everytime I leave him, my heart breaks wide open. I am convinced that he is who I should be with. There is no one better. If I tell him, I'm risking the best adult relationship I have ever had. We tell each other we love each other, but it's not a romantic love. It's like the best friend you grew up with. i don't know if I can keep doing it much longer, becuase that part feels like a lie now. i think about him all the time. i want him to be happy, i want all his dreams to come true and I want to be around to see it. I just don't know if I can, and that is tormenting me.
3rd Story - Best Friend with My Ex....
I am still best friends with my ex and we still tell each other that we are still in love. We lasted a year and ten months and then she left me, a month later got back with her ex boyfriend. I was surprised that she left me and seemed to move on so quick. after she broke up with him, she realized that she really loved me and tried to talk to me and tell me that she really loved me. I was usually mad at her the whole time. NOw we still hang out in college and still talk on the phone. I still love her alot and i would want to get back with her but i cant cause my parents dont like her anymore.
4th Story - Best Friend with My Ex ..
I used to be best friends with my ex-boyfriend. We hung out at least twice a week. At first it was okay. I felt like I wasn't being affected. Just friends. Really. For one year. Not physical at all in the beginning. Later maybe a massage. Later maybe a hug that lasted a little longer. After a year of a slow transition I found myself in a "friendship with benefits" relationship. Not a lot of benefits, but more than one would hope. That went on for another year.
But he knew that it wasn't me who he wanted. And I still wanted him. I told myself that I didn't want him. That I wasn't still in love with him. I knew that he was a little too important to me, but I knew that if I said goodbye that it would make me sad. So the only way out that I saw was to continue and hope that I found someone before he did. The problem with this plan is that I was not emotionally available enough to even notice other guys. He *was* emotionally available and found someone who he actually wanted.
Now I had imagined that if he did find someone that we would still be friends. Why wouldn't we be? We had been super tight for a total of three years after all. I failed to realize that the "super tightness" would be a part of the undoing of our friendship. Realistically, how would you feel if you were starting a new relationship with a guy and he had a best friend who was a girl? A girl who he had been physical with (even if that was over now). A girl he was super close to. A girl who understands him better than you. Who has known him longer than you. Who has all kinds of inside jokes with him. He could have been more mature about it, but I understand why we couldn't continue a friendship.
But now he has someone to fill the void that I had filled. And I have no one. I miss him still and it has been over a year. It isn't as bad as it was, but I was pretty devastated because I had allowed him to fill so many slots in my life. He was my confidaunt. My best friend. The person who I went to with technical questions. We talked politics. We talked religion. We talked about everything. He was teaching me how to sing, play the piano and the drums. I was helping him start his company. It was hard to have all those "slots" empty at the same time. It was hard to bounce back. You may be the exception, and I hope you are. But consider mine a cautionary tale.
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